Tales from the dark side

I turned off the crock pot full of chicken with a half grimace and sigh of defeat tonight.  "Real food" hasn't exactly been happening in my "real life" lately.  Tuesday night we stopped in at Arby's on the way to soccer practice.  (The chicken pulled out from the night before hadn't defrosted by that morning to be put in the crock pot, and both my husband and I were caught up with work at dinnertime.)  Wednesday night I worked until 7 and picked up Thai food on the way home.  Thursday night we both worked late, and I picked up sushi.  Tonight was supposed to be homemade pizza, but I forgot to thaw the crust and both of us were caught up with work yet again.  Pizza Hut to the rescue? Ugh.

It's not that we don't eat out. (Although not normally four nights in a row.)  And I can handle the occasional food failure. 

But that chicken.  You see, even though it hadn't defrosted by Tuesday morning, we were going to cook it for dinner after work.  And then when that went out the window we decided to throw it in the crock pot this morning and use it for chicken wraps for lunch tomorrow.  Except that one of us forgot to turn on the crock pot and it sat there until he got home at one and turned it on.  And I am not going to be the guinea pig to find out whether or not it's still good after sitting on the counter for several hours raw at room temperature.

However, throwing away food is one of the seven deadly sins.  I think.  At least that's the impression I got growing up.  Then as I realized that not one, but two meals had been sabotaged in one day, all the thoughts of how I should have planned better and how I am working too much and neglecting my family and how I am completely inadequate and incapable of doing everything I need to do at work and at home pop up in the back of my mind like unwanted and yet oh so familiar friends.

The beginning of the school year is one of those seasons for me that is very difficult.  No matter how much I plan ahead, it never seems to be quite enough.  And this year has been a doozy.

My temptation, I realize, is always to focus on the negative--of what I didn't do "right," instead of what I did do well.  I made yogurt this week. I ate a nutritious breakfast and took a healthy snack and water to work with me every day.  I ate the last bag of beans and rice I had previously frozen for lunch one day.  We had family game night tonight.  I loved my husband and children and students and friends. 

And I get to start over again tomorrow, let it all go, and do what I can do to the best of my ability.